Champagne badgers
The champagne flowed from Street’s many orifices on Saturday afternoon, as their cup challenge gathered pace with a bulging win over a ‘View subdued. Admittedly, the fizz was nowhere to be seen in the first half, during which our be-hooped behemoths (from Wikipedia: “the largest and most powerful animal ever to exist”. What, more powerful than a badger? I doubt it, Wikidiots) were distinctly flat and tepid.
The poobrains played that age-old trick of starting games as if they had all just met in the changing room. Passes didn’t so much go astray as end up in an entirely different cosmos. Tarmac was practically killed by a firm knee to the side-leg, and the Fairview pressed hard, like a desperate sex-starved teenager, to force corner after corner after corner. Ultimately, they lacked the composure to take advantage of Street’s disarray, and were possibly put off by de Silva’s screamy shouty savey antics. And then, slowly but surely, the badger-beast awakened.
After playing their worst for 30 minutes, Street were cock-a-hoop that it was still level-pegging. For a brief spell, the minties got the ball and played a pass or two, and Smiffy and Dunkirk looked like they had the measure of a Fairview backline that was perhaps a bit too keen to play the offside game. If they could remember their inner badger, things were looking up for the rest of the game.
And so it was. The second half began in a green-and-white bubbly blur. Led by Stiffy-Smiffy’s proud strength and sexy hold-up play, Street were just too good for their opponents. Dunkirk bagged a brace and threatened more, as the loopy-hoops went on the rampage. Fairview threatened intermittently but were thwarted by some stout snouting, from Chris and de Silva especially.
And when Yr Chairman played his lucky Shane card, the game was up. Despite Fairview getting one back with a decent long-ranger, Street’s champagne was bursting forth all over the show. Bustling his way hither and thither, the super-dude scored with a delectable lob, could have had another, and turned their chatty number 7 inside out and round-the-back with what can only be described as pure football mancream.
Ah, the old forgotten joy of beating Fairview. What sexy bliss.
Postscript: Of course, everyone knows the real champagne moment on Saturday came from Ginsburg. For those not at the game, imagine this: the ref makes what may or may not have been a dubious offside call. Rather than shout his disagreement from the sidelines a la Yr Chairman, Ginger, or frankly EVERYONE ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE, dear ol’ Gins strides on to the pitch, no doubt to explain to the referee in suitably teacherly tones how and where he is going wrong. The ref, suitably bemused, books him. Ginsburg scuttles off, to cheers, hoots, clapping, jeers, and a place in Street’s all-time top-ten champagne moments. Only Street. Only Ginsburg.
Union Street (0) 3 – 1 (0) Fairview
Dunkirk 2, Shane
de Silva, Burn M, Isaac, Mozley, Ginsburg (Sale), McCullock (Shane), Davies, Adams, Beaumont (James), Kirk, Smith
Ref: bemused
The poobrains played that age-old trick of starting games as if they had all just met in the changing room. Passes didn’t so much go astray as end up in an entirely different cosmos. Tarmac was practically killed by a firm knee to the side-leg, and the Fairview pressed hard, like a desperate sex-starved teenager, to force corner after corner after corner. Ultimately, they lacked the composure to take advantage of Street’s disarray, and were possibly put off by de Silva’s screamy shouty savey antics. And then, slowly but surely, the badger-beast awakened.
After playing their worst for 30 minutes, Street were cock-a-hoop that it was still level-pegging. For a brief spell, the minties got the ball and played a pass or two, and Smiffy and Dunkirk looked like they had the measure of a Fairview backline that was perhaps a bit too keen to play the offside game. If they could remember their inner badger, things were looking up for the rest of the game.
And so it was. The second half began in a green-and-white bubbly blur. Led by Stiffy-Smiffy’s proud strength and sexy hold-up play, Street were just too good for their opponents. Dunkirk bagged a brace and threatened more, as the loopy-hoops went on the rampage. Fairview threatened intermittently but were thwarted by some stout snouting, from Chris and de Silva especially.
And when Yr Chairman played his lucky Shane card, the game was up. Despite Fairview getting one back with a decent long-ranger, Street’s champagne was bursting forth all over the show. Bustling his way hither and thither, the super-dude scored with a delectable lob, could have had another, and turned their chatty number 7 inside out and round-the-back with what can only be described as pure football mancream.
Ah, the old forgotten joy of beating Fairview. What sexy bliss.
Postscript: Of course, everyone knows the real champagne moment on Saturday came from Ginsburg. For those not at the game, imagine this: the ref makes what may or may not have been a dubious offside call. Rather than shout his disagreement from the sidelines a la Yr Chairman, Ginger, or frankly EVERYONE ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE, dear ol’ Gins strides on to the pitch, no doubt to explain to the referee in suitably teacherly tones how and where he is going wrong. The ref, suitably bemused, books him. Ginsburg scuttles off, to cheers, hoots, clapping, jeers, and a place in Street’s all-time top-ten champagne moments. Only Street. Only Ginsburg.
Union Street (0) 3 – 1 (0) Fairview
Dunkirk 2, Shane
de Silva, Burn M, Isaac, Mozley, Ginsburg (Sale), McCullock (Shane), Davies, Adams, Beaumont (James), Kirk, Smith
Ref: bemused
posted by Badger at 10:03 AM
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