Research
I did some market research for the Department of Transport tonight. I'd like to say it was fun, but it wasn't. And they only gave me a fiver for it. A very camp man called "Norman", who kept me calling me "love" or "my lovely", asked me a LOT of questions about possible traffic congeston charges in Oxford.
One of the scenarios was charging 20p for every mile I might drive within the ring road at peak times, as well as a £4 daily charge on top of that. That would work out at, like, £100 a month, apparently. Just to drive to work. That would get people cycling, and no mistake.
They also asked me to calculate how much it costs me to drive to work every day (in petrol, insurance, tax, wear and tear etc) and I was stumped. I'm useless at budgeting. Anyway, I hope I helped Norman with his planning. I think he fancied me. Understandable.
It's been a night for speaking to odd people on the phone. I've justed waited about half an hour to talk to some chap about my Orange contract. You see, I got a fancy, slimline phone last week (that I keep losing cos I'm used to having an old fashioned brick) from the Orange shop, but they wouldn't let me have a new tariff, telling me I had to phone the Orange people direct. So I phoned them, and they told me to go back to the shop. Hmf. It was like being 7 years old and being told to "ask your Mother".
You can tell I lead a fun life, what? Maybe I should resurrect my room 101s. I've thought of some more.
Dirty bars of soap.
People who leave muesli to go hard in the bowl.
Bourbons.
Girls who moan about the seat being left up.
Driving up very narrow roads with lines of cars either side, like Southfield Road, or Divinity Road.
Girls who moan about being cold.
Drivers and cyclists who don't indicate.
Leaving the top off the toothpaste (am I sounding like a sad old man yet?).
'Press red' instead of teletext.
Knee exercises.
People who blame having a cold on 'air conditioning'.
Lateness.
Laziness.
Tightness.
Angellica off Fame Academy.
Men who spend hours in gyms just sitting down and looking at TVs.
Go on then, gimme some more.
One of the scenarios was charging 20p for every mile I might drive within the ring road at peak times, as well as a £4 daily charge on top of that. That would work out at, like, £100 a month, apparently. Just to drive to work. That would get people cycling, and no mistake.
They also asked me to calculate how much it costs me to drive to work every day (in petrol, insurance, tax, wear and tear etc) and I was stumped. I'm useless at budgeting. Anyway, I hope I helped Norman with his planning. I think he fancied me. Understandable.
It's been a night for speaking to odd people on the phone. I've justed waited about half an hour to talk to some chap about my Orange contract. You see, I got a fancy, slimline phone last week (that I keep losing cos I'm used to having an old fashioned brick) from the Orange shop, but they wouldn't let me have a new tariff, telling me I had to phone the Orange people direct. So I phoned them, and they told me to go back to the shop. Hmf. It was like being 7 years old and being told to "ask your Mother".
You can tell I lead a fun life, what? Maybe I should resurrect my room 101s. I've thought of some more.
Dirty bars of soap.
People who leave muesli to go hard in the bowl.
Bourbons.
Girls who moan about the seat being left up.
Driving up very narrow roads with lines of cars either side, like Southfield Road, or Divinity Road.
Girls who moan about being cold.
Drivers and cyclists who don't indicate.
Leaving the top off the toothpaste (am I sounding like a sad old man yet?).
'Press red' instead of teletext.
Knee exercises.
People who blame having a cold on 'air conditioning'.
Lateness.
Laziness.
Tightness.
Angellica off Fame Academy.
Men who spend hours in gyms just sitting down and looking at TVs.
Go on then, gimme some more.
posted by Badger at 9:03 PM
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