Turps

Operations, they're bleedin hilarious, aren't they? Some half-wit attacks your leg with a pen-knife and some turps, and then leaves you in the hands of physiotherapists who tell you to do dozens of exercises that redefine tedious and remind you that your once-fully-functioning leg can now do no more than bend very stiffly about 45 degrees before shooting PAIN appears where once you had hamstrings.

Oh dear, think I had a bad day. I shouldn't take it out on those heroes in the NHS. Love those dudes, man. They're just awesome, with their white coats, painkillers and friendly knee-surgery ways. Kiss them all week.

It's a long haul, this ACL reconstruction business. My leg seems to ache in new ways every day - hamstrings, thighs, calves, knee cap... And all the while I'm paranoid that I'm gonna bugger up all the good NHS-inspired work and have to go in for another operation. I've been told I can bend my leg but not twist it - and you'd be surprised how often you want to twist your leg. Every time I do, I can imagine my new ligament snapping off and it gives me the shivers. Got to think positively.

I'm driving, though, and walking about - stairs are fun. I take each step at a time and it takes me ages. People walking with me get bored and wait for me at the bottom. I used to be a bit of a bounder, a three-steps-at-a-time man, so it's a bit of a shock.

Anyway, I should be doing my exercises - good GOD they bore me senseless. All is not lost, though - Swindon Town got a last minute equaliser tonight, and Oxford United got beat again last night. Hoorah.